Stanley Morgan – New England Patriots

Stanley Morgan is great. You know he is. Look at him. Those chiseled abs, long legs and beautiful eyes. His greatness cannot be argued.

That is off the field. On the field, Stanley Morgan surpasses greatness like a beggar scoffs at pennies outside the 7-Eleven. In week 3 against the Cincinnati Bengals, 2^nd year receiver Stanley “The Man” Morgan caught passes for 191 yards and 3 touchdowns to lead his team to a 21-17 victory.

His quarterback, Steve Grogan, was quoted asked after the game what he thought of Stan's performance , “Stan is the fucking man. He accounted for, what, every yard of passing I had today? Those other guys couldn't do shit. He was a man possessed. He makes me look good.” It was later found out that Mr. Grogan was having sex with one of our reporters in the locker room after the interview and she has been promoted to my secretary.

No offensive player outshined Morgan this week, and I would expect many more great things from this kid in the future.